Prussia's Cleverbot Rants
by MadSockMonkey
Summary: I was bored, Poland invited me over, and the unawesome bastard decided that we should talk to some retarded computer-thing.   Its kinda weird. I'm sorry!


Hanging out with Poland was a mistake. Apparently, the unawesome _idiot_ thought that it was "like, totally cool" to waste time talking to some bastard computer who doesn't even know who the hell I am.

Think I'm overreacting do you? That's what West and Liz said. But look, I'll **show** it to you, and then you'll get what I mean.

Yeah, you probably guessed it.

This is my conversation with the ******* bastard pile of ******* **** that ***** like you ******* call Cleverbot.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Yes, hello.

User: Do you know the awesome me?

Cleverbot: I lost it.

User: YOU LOST MY FIVE METRES!

Cleverbot: What? No I didn't.

User: Pervert. Do you know who I am?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Of course you have heard of the awesome me! Who am I then?

Cleverbot: No. I am a human.

User: Who am I then?

Cleverbot: A form of artificial intelligence.

User: YOU DISSED THE AWESOME ME!

Cleverbot: All hail Prussia!

User: You got that right!

Cleverbot: You are just a computer.

User: No, bastard, I AM PRUSSIA!

Cleverbot: You aren't certain that you are human? You are just pretty sure?

User: I AM NOT HUMAN YOU IDIOT! I AM PRUSSIA!

Cleverbot: I am Maria.

User: Then go to hell.

Cleverbot: I am. Good night.

User: WHAT!

User: Guten tag.

Cleverbot: Hello spanish.

User: Do I look like that sissy?

Cleverbot: Kind of.

User: Say that again.

Cleverbot: Yes, that is what I said.

User: Bastard.

Cleverbot: Basta?

User: BASTARD! YOU DARE DISS THE AWESOME ME?

Cleverbot: Well, hello there the awesome that is a boy.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I said hi.

User: Do you know who I am? Don't you disrespect me!

Cleverbot: Yes Master!

User: That's better. Who are you anyway?

Cleverbot: I'm your friend remember?

User: Nein.

Cleverbot: Ahm doch.

User: Fick dich.

Cleverbot: Ja!

Cleverbot (To myself): Ich bin verheiratet!

Cleverbot (To myself): Bist du ein Junge oder ein MŠdchen?

User: Ein Junge.

Cleverbot: Wie alt bist du.

User: Too awesome for you.

Cleverbot: Yes I know :).

User: So you have heard of the awesome me!

Cleverbot: Well if I'm not stupid...

User: Nein. Who am I then?

Cleverbot: A female human named Ashley.

User: BASTARD!

Cleverbot: Basta?

User: YOU DARE DISRESPECT THE AWESOME ME?

Cleverbot: And I'm the cube master.

User: WhaT?

Cleverbot: I am with my sister.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Is that all you've got to say?

User: Nein. Do you know the awesome me?

Cleverbot: You forgot a question mark.

User: I didn't.

Cleverbot: Then we must agree to disagree.

User: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Cleverbot: You won't admit that you said I was a dude!

User: I DIDN'T SAY THAT!

Cleverbot: Oh right... That's what she said.

User: Who's she?

Cleverbot: Your worst nightmare.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: The jerks you talk to.

User: YOU CALLING LUDWIG A JERK?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: FICK DICH.

Cleverbot: Wer.

User: YOu.

Cleverbot: Me.

User: Ja! Dich!

Cleverbot: Ich bin ein mann.

User: Und ich.

Cleverbot: Weis ich nicht.

User: I am. You do know of the awesome me?

Cleverbot: I never said you were. I said you are a simulation.

User: Stop avoiding the question. Do you know the awesome me?

Cleverbot: You're a bot, who would sit next to you?

User: I AM NOT I AM A COUNTRY.

Cleverbot: I am an island.

User: Which one?

Cleverbot: The one located below the North Pole and above the south pole.

User: What's that? Poland?

Cleverbot: A group of people who play instruments together and make music.

User: You're Africa?

Cleverbot: No.

User: WHO ARE YOU THEN?

Cleverbot: A human.

User: A mere human. Then I am a GOD to you. The awesome me!

Cleverbot: You are artificial intelligence.

User: Say that again.

Cleverbot: You are a she.

User: Ich bin ein MANN.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: ...

Cleverbot: Magst du zuckerstangen?

User: Nein. Do you know who I AM?

Cleverbot: Yes, you are a computer.

User: NEIN! I AM PRUSSIA YOU BASTARD!

Cleverbot: Where is west?

User: Away.

Cleverbot: Away where?

User: Why do oyu want to know where West is?

Cleverbot: I want to visit you.

User: PEADO!

Cleverbot: I've never heard of that one. Is it good?

User: West is in the other room. So you know him, you nkow the awesome me?

Cleverbot: Nope. I'm not really into secular music too much. I can't stand cussing.

User: Stop avoiding the question! Do you know the aweosme me?

Cleverbot: No I don't. I like Leo.

User: Who's Leo?

Cleverbot: I'm Leo I said. :).

User: Well, Leo, mere human, how do oyu know West?

Cleverbot: I can't know.

User: HOW DO YOU KNOW MEIN BRUDER?

Cleverbot: Because I was chatting you last 2010.

User: What?

Cleverbot: That i'm not going to practice german anymore.

User: How do you know West and not the awesome me?

Cleverbot: No, but I know my name and it's not Erin.

User: I am PRUSSIA YOU BASTARD!

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: I AM PRUSSIA! THE AWESOME ME!

Cleverbot: The awesomest.

User: YES!

Cleverbot: They were all named after one person. It's interesting, see?

****. I was online for two freaking' hours and all I get is "What's Prussia?" "Who're you?" "Are you a girl?" What. The. ******* Hell is **** up with this ****.

I'm ****** sick of **** ***** like that and REAL ****FREAKING PEOPLE NOT ***** *** KNOWING WHO I AM. WHAT RETARDS.

((EDIT: Edited by Ludwig. Mein Brü̈der shouldn't leave things like this open on the computer for the world to see. ))

* * *

><p>Author's Note: I was bored, and this was just too tempting. I wanted to share this with somebody randomly, so here it is! ^^ Not to be taken too seriously, obviously.<p>

I found it hilarious when the Cleverbot asked me where West was. It's like it KNOWS! O_O

PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME ON THIS!


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